Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Apple Unveils AI-Powered 'Workout Buddy' for Apple Watch at WWDC - MacRumors

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

"Remarkable" Pattern Discovered Behind Prime Numbers, Math's Most Unpredictable Objects - IFLScience

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fakery

An 'invisible threat': Swarm of hidden 'city killer' asteroids around Venus could one day collide with Earth, simulations show - Live Science

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Nuclear rocket engine for Moon and Mars - European Space Agency

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Ms. Rachel Has Been In Touch With Olivia Munn, And Urges Fans To “Be Kind” To Her - BuzzFeed

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why did my 2001 4.6 liter Mustang GT V8 make "only" 260 HP while today's base Dodge 3.6 liter V6 churns out almost 300 HP? Both benefit from fuel injection and ECUs.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

New model helps to figure out which distant planets may host life - Space

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Slash your biological age by up to 16 years by doing this one thing during your daily walk — new study says - Tom's Guide

I can read

I see through liars

I can count

Judge declares mistrial on rape count in Harvey Weinstein's sex crimes retrial after jury chaos - ABC News

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Is it possible for doctors to diagnose prostate cancer just by looking at a patient?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are some of the greatest marketing disasters in history?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How do you say "I don't speak Italian yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn Italian with you. Would you like to teach me Italian?" in Italian?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

General framework bridges quantum thermodynamics and non-Markovianity - Phys.org

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Patti LuPone stuns Broadway as The Apologizer - AV Club

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I actually pay taxes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.